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Conveyance (click pics for bigger image): Paper Bag Rating*
Honda :  CRV paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag
Minor crashes in supermarket car parks are increasingly a fact of life and it can be embarassing when you arrive back home and the neighbours see your dented new 4x4. However Honda have come to the rescue with the new CR-V; cunningly this car looks like it has already suffered a nasty front end shunt. OK, so the neighbours will get a bit of a shock when you first buy it, but thereafter, even having had a number of other bodywork 'incidents', they will not suspect a thing. Brilliant.
 
Vauxhall :  Victor (1950s) paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag
It seems retro is the new vogue - what with Mini, Beetle and Fiat 500 all making a comeback. By contrast, a 21st Century Victor is definitely not going to happen.
 
Chrysler :  Crossfire paper bag paper bag paper bag
"Those look fantastic" said an iguana I recently saw walking down the slipway in Kingsbridge, Devon carrying some deep sea diving apparatus and a tortilla.
 
Chevrolet :  Matiz paper bag paper bag paper bag
Having failed to make these pages with the mk1 Matiz, a number of external changes were essential to gain a listing for the mk2.
 
Honda :  Civic Hybrid paper bag paper bag
If you think that when you buy a small car with a boot, it's still a small car, then the Civic hybrid saloon is for you. Honda simply took a standard Civic hatch, added a 20bhp electric motor, battery, some chrome and a boot to make it heavier, and sold it to the Americans (and a few Brits).
 
Skoda :  Fabia saloon paper bag paper bag
Being the product of a poorly attended Eastbourne focus group, the fabia saloon was not designed as such, more it "came into being to fulfill a market segment". However it certainly ticks a lot of boxes, especially if you don't really need a car in the first place.
 
Reliant :  Scimitar SS paper bag paper bag
The scimitar SS is not so much a car as a lifestyle statement; it basically says "I'm mad, and I don't care".
 
Marcos :  Mantis 2+2 paper bag paper bag paper bag paper bag
Plucked out of a big bag of 1970s fail, the Marcos Mantis 2+2 was launched in an era when the public would buy inordinate amounts of stupid stuff including space-hoppers, spangles, K-tel records, slinky springs, and Sanyo music centres. Unfortunately for Marcos, the public drew the line at shelling out for the Mantis 2+2, who's design, it appears, was sketched out whilst gyrating in a roller-disco to the music of Showaddywaddy, and subsequently the company suffered a financial collapse.
 
Mercedes :  R Class paper bag paper bag paper bag
Had Henry the 8th ever needed to take all 6 of his wives shopping at the same time, he would almost certainly have chosen an R class. However anyone with even a small knowledge of history will tell you that petrol was not available in those days so he would not have got very far.
 
Hyundai :  Coupe Mk2 paper bag paper bag paper bag
As the hyundai chief designer sat in his bath one evening, he glimpsed a spider out of the corner of his eye and immediately took inspiration. Toiling at his desk for at least the next few minutes he eventually finalised the coupe features and if you look closely you may be able to make out the similarity between the car and a Korean bathroom.
 


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*Paper Bag Rating - The number of paper bags you would have to wear on your head before accepting a ride in the car.

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